Life.......

Ha.. long time didnt update my blog.. suddenly feel wanna express something here..2day is a busy day 4me but i think is ok.. i lost my purse at asia on 26th of september which mean the last day of Gossip.. i feel so terrible where i have to act happy.. no sadness but inside my heart it is full of tears.. i just cant cheer myself up on tat time n make silly decision but luckily he didnt take it as a true one.. but i really sad.. once i reached on aroung 1 sumthing in the mid nite.. i straight away went to the bathroom.. take bath n cry as loud as i want.. is my 2nd time tat ti lost my purse.. i wondering why i'm so careless n doesn't kknow how to take care of my stuff.. haiz.. i tot i can 4get 4the next day but my mum scolded me.. n i scold her back.. she said "still don know need how much money for the ic".. n i said i'll pay back myself.. n the money she is using now is also my money wat.. she feel unhappy so do i but y cant she understand my feeling.. do she think tat i love it when my things get lost?? on tat day after scolded her i went out.. i wanted to buy shirley's present at pyramid but i dowan go le.. cos i cried till my eyes like a panda for the whole day where i have to meet all my secondary bestie 2celeb shirley's bday.. anyway i'm ok now.. n i didnt went back home sleep 4 3days.. didnt even spoke 2my mum n she know i will not talk 2her.. n on monday i went to do police report.. i was so scare tat the police wanted 2bring me 2a room.. but luckily the room is full then v have our conversation outside.. 2day i went to do my ic.. public bank n cimb bank n jpj 4my lesen.. avthing is done except 4my student id.. ic no charges.. cimb bank also no charges 4new card n new pin but the stupid public bank said wan charge me 4a new card n new pin.. also same with cimb but y one got charges n another one don hav?? haiz.. MALAYSIA!! so i straight away dowan use public bank d.. lesen also.. RM20 i wondering.. ic redo 4 2nd time is rm200 n process money of rm10 but my wan got police report so no charges but lesen wan.. but i rather pay rm20 than rm210.. crazy!! so i havto tell myslef not to lost any of my belonging.. avthing lost d still havto pay big amount of money.. where is fairness??now already a forth day i dindt talk 2my mum.. i really really angry at her.. haiz..

tis week is also study week..study week is actually a week 4us 2do our assign since it is a short sem.. but i dont think is a study week 4me but a holiday week.. hehe.. i didnt touch any of my book, assign, notes, pencil case.. n i'm going outstation 2mr.. haiz.. i know tat i got many many things 2do but i didnt touch any of it.. what m i actually doing rite now?? i also dunno n feel so tired of life n blur blur.. can anyone tell me wat to do?? i've lost my motivation!!

ppl pls bliff in what comes round goes round.. it really happened 2me.. sobzz..

It's Complicated

I dunno whether wanna fell sad o unhappy o wat.. after my holiday i dint update my blog till now.. i feel that i dowan 2let other ppl 2talk about me.. my life.. n laugh at me.. but i really need a space 4myself 2express out my feeling.. i've never told my things to other ppl even my best fren.. i will just keep things 2myself.. i cant really tell them how i feel about.. how i react on.. cos from small till now i will just stay at a corner n cry by my own.. from my family problem till finance problem then love problem.. all also by my own.. i think now also.. shall i o shall not i tell out? i just cant figure it out lo.. mayb sumtimes i will then mayb sumtimes i won.. how? answer=dunno.. 2day i just suddenly think over that incident.. then my tears just roll down.. i really so jealous on tat.. he never ever use tat eyesight to look at me b4.. y untill so long d he still will look at her at that way? a sudden feeling.. but y is not on me but on her? i really cant 4get.. he always said that i got attitude problem n i know i had.. but is that wrong? is my attitude make u return back 2her?? tat really hurt me so much.. i think untill end of my life i will still remember.. iw anna stop tis relationship.. but i just cant.. every moment i keep think n think n think.. but i just cant make a decision.. i dunno whether i 4giv u is a correct decision o not.. but i know i cant really trust u.. when u r not wit me i will always think izit u r betraying me o wat.. is tat a relationship should be? is there any love btw us? o just a responsibility? u neva show how much u love me.. n neva show u had change.. but wat u have show is just an ordinary u.. sometimes i just need a real caring.. n a real love.. avthing now seems 2b ok but inside my heart there's always a hole there which cant b replace by anything.. wat should i do?? i really enjoy chit chat wit u.. i feel very relax n fun.. but when v go out.. avthing change.. v will fight 4small matters n u'll said my attitude.. it seems lik aavthing bcome my problem again.. wat an attitude problem i had.. so avone out there i had an attitude problem now!!!

Holiday- Day 10,,11,12,13, n 14

Wow.. so many days didnt update my blog le.. long holiday.. dunno busy off wat.. after going so many colleges feel so tired..had a very good sleep.. tot of thurs will go to ikea but didnt go also cos ky's sis said she also wanna go..but only can go on sat,sun or mon..but those three days also cant go.. then ky asked her fetch his mum go but she refuse..haiz.. so cant do anything then on friday 3 of us ma go there lo.. but little things also rm250 le.. really so expensive.. ppl went there not to buy their furniture but to get their ideas.. but i lik it.. n its too expensive 4me.. haiz.. wait until i get marry n rich d..i sure will buy its furniture.. it is so nice n also the money 2pay..hahaha.. on sat i hav to go my relative's house..he's getting marry.. congratulations!!! but i hate going there havto go social with all my aunty n uncle.. ask this ask that.. hate them so much.. pls don ever ever ever ask me about my father..thank u!! there's no point 4me 2 talk anything about him.. haiz.. but need 2ask 4my tuition fee.. i just don understand y every semester begin i havto suffer in asking n begging him 2pay 4my fees?? but tis time i really dowan ask anything lo.. just take the money i borrowed n pay later.. i feel more worth it.. nonit beg nonit cry just do it my own.. next day nite got dinner.. went to wash my hair.. wash d n styling.. after saw the magazine i like the hair style so much so i decided to cut it..haha.. wan means wan it now.. didnt think of it also.. but when cut d i feel so weird weird n weird.. keep laugh on myself..hahaha.. i cut bcos i 'bu si kuan' the previous hairstyle.. i will always put my haiz behing my ear then the hairstyle ma different d lo.. haiz..not nice.. it seem to b nice on the 1st day itself.. but didnt cut more worse.. it will bcome lik 'rumput' haha.. nvm la.. tis time cut till so short d wait until ky's 2nd sis only cut d la.. nite dinner at centro klang.. is a ballroom.. quite nice the environment but the food ma ma tei only lo.. on the way back saw someone tat i neva think of.. one of my best fren.. after tat incident.. i saw her twice.. both also i didnt say hi.. is bcos of ky o myself? i've no idea.. o bcos of her attitude n i'm angry on her.. mayb not now but i think in future it will b ok gua.. as wat shirley said.. time will make everything clear.. then back home time i saw a msg.. feel so sad.. stay at room cry n sleep n watch my tv.. doesn't wan to think o mention anything.. just wanna b happi.. i will angry cos i mine..but i 4giv cos i love.. haiz.. complicated.. 2day whole day didnt eat till dinner went to bukit tinggi jj.. went to vietnamese kitchen eat.. my 1st time o mayb my last time too.. hahha.. cos i cant afford it.. 4me it is too expensive lo.. tis time also ky's brother in law treat de.. thank u!! reach hime le.. nothing 2do.. 2mr start college le havent enroll cos the old man didnt pay.. 2mr must go enroll le.. hahaha.. new sem only 2subject but it is a short sem avthing double up..haiz.. hope tis 7weeks can go as fast as possible..